Balance.

When I first started this blog, I did not plan to write super consistently, but I definitely did not intend to take 4 months to make the next post. Yet here we are and honestly I’m cool with that. Like my previous post mentioned, “life’s been life-ing”.

This blog is more of an outlet, similar to how painting and singing are for me. I also use my prayer journal as an outlet, but sometimes I like to share with others what’s on my heart for my sake and just in case someone else is currently battling with the same thing as me. Plus writing things out and sharing my thoughts with others, tends to help me gain new insight on what’s constantly rolling around in my head.

So what’s been rolling around in my head lately?

BALANCE!

My body and soul have been craving this word. I’m working two jobs right now, which is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. I’ve pretty much worked multiple jobs at once for many years since I was old enough to work. But it’s finally taking a toll on me. I sleep maybe 3 hours a day, and I commute a little over an hour back and forth. I’ve found some ways to cope and make the load lighter, like staying at a friends during the week. Meal prepping for the week and packing for the whole week on Sundays. And these things help to a certain extent. Yet I find myself on Sunday (my only full day off between both jobs) just drained. I try to cram everything I couldn’t do for myself during the week into that one day and still prep for the week. But I hardly get anything accomplished for myself, and I’m angry and crabby towards my family during the only time I get to spend with them. And I really hate this feeling!

I know I should walk in faith and finally let one go, but I feel stuck. One of my goals and commitments to God was to be a better steward of my finances and so logic says financially I need to keep both. Yet I made another commitment to God to truly work on my creative gifts, but I do not have the time to REALLY cultivate them. I don’t even have the time to just sit with GOD, and that is ultimately what I really need. I’m having a hard time hearing Him and knowing what He intends for me to do.

Although I know what I need and where to get it from, I can’t seem to find it.

So that’s been my prayer, seeking BALANCE. I realize as I type that I haven’t truly presented this request to God yet. The thought rolls around in my head and I’m constantly complaining about the need for balance. But I have not made this request known to the Father. Isn’t that crazy!!?? I knew writing out my thoughts would lead me to a solution!

So Father, even though I have not come to You directly, I know You already know what I need and You’re already working. But Father I want to come to You now. Lord, strengthen my faith to make the decisions You intend for me to make. Father bring balance in my relationships with others, my emotions, my physical and mental strength, my heart, my mind, my careers, my finances, my sleep, and my creative pursuits, Father, I will wait on You!

Lord, if there is someone else reading this who is also in need of balance I pray this prayer over them as well. In Jesus’ sweet name I pray. Amen! 💜