Loss…

There has been a tremendous amount of loss this year for me and many others I know. Today, I just found out that someone I was once very close to passed away in June. Although, our lives were no longer connected…one of those “only for a season” type connections this still really hurt to find out.

I will not list out all the people I have lost since coming back from deployment in August 2022, but it has been a significant amount. Thinking about this most recent loss and many of the recent losses of my friends that I have heard about this year, I realized that we are still losing a lot of young black men.

I know this has always been an unfortunate reality, but what stood out to me more is that these lives are being taken by sickness, opposed to violence and hate. Don’t get me wrong those issues are still very prominent reasons for the loss of many young black men today. But right now I noticed an increase in their lives being taken due to mental and physical sickness. And that truth really weighed on my Spirit today.

The number of young black men that WE have all loss to mental and physical sickness seems to be increasing exponentially. Quite possibly this may just be in my circle of relationships and connections but either way I want to bring this to other’s attention. In hopes that we can pray for those grieving these losses and that we pray for the lives of those we still have here with us.

Also, I hope this reminds us what is really important. Which is loving each other in the way God intended and that we spend our lives focused on God’s plan. Leading lives that work to mirror Jesus’ life, and ones that will lead others to Him.

Something that has really made my grief even harder was the realization that I could’ve shown more love to those I’ve lost and how I hope that they had a relationship with God.

My roommate in Cali, had cancer twice while I was living with him. I remember being annoyed with him being in a “negative space” often and that made me not want to be around him often so I would distance myself. He beat cancer the first time, but then he got it again a few months before I deployed. And even though I knew he had a lot of estranged relationships (which became evident with the lack of support he had when he was fighting cancer the first time) I still would distance myself. Out of protection for myself and my emotions is what I would say. 🙃

Fortunately, we did start hanging out a little bit more before I left and that was nice and we chatted a bit while I was overseas. If it had not been for his hospitality and kindness I would have left Cali much sooner. Lonnie opening up his home to me allowed me the chance to live in my dream city, San Diego, for a couple years. But I continue to think about how many times God urged me to invite him to church with me while I lived there, and Lonnie would say he would come with me if I let him know. But I would never tell him on time and I wasn’t going to service at a consistent time either. Another thing when I returned from deployment I saw him one time and could tell that he was much sicker than he had been the first time. And God kept telling me to go back and visit Lonnie but I just never made it because I was too focused on what I had going on. And then I find out that the cancer took his life, a month or so after I had visited Cali and not visited him again.

I said all that to vent but also to show how selfish I can be at times. I spend a lot of time focused on myself and getting myself in “order” (which is essential when you want to be able to help others). But I have been really selfish, so laser-focused on my life that I completely shut out other people’s need. There is no reason that I can not work on me, and still show more love than I have been to the people in my life and others that I may cross paths with.

I share all this to remind us to love, really show love. Love is hard as we all know, but it’s powerful and necessary. We all need it, so we should all give it. Showing love to others can be healing for ourselves as well.

In closing, I pray for the strength of those grieving anyone, and I pray that they are leaning on You Father to help them in their mourning and in everything else. Father, I pray for the mental and physical health of our black men. I pray that they are surrounded by love and support to help them face these challenges. Father, I know we all have our issues and struggles not just our black men, so I pray for us all. Lord, strengthen us a people. Teach us to love unconditionally, but not at the expense of damaging ourselves. Father, You know where that balance lies and You can show us all the way. Open our eyes, minds, and hearts to seek You and Your guidance. Lead us to share Your word and Your love always.

Father, I love you.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen! 💜

I just want to add to those of you reading this, in case you didn’t know already, I love you. I may be terrible at showing it and I am so sorry if I have been. Please forgive me and know I love you!